[ 17:00 thursday 9 march – fir & india, san diego, usa ]
nine metal mesh chairs are strewn around a concrete fountain topped with a mosaic globe. this is the centre of san diego’s “little italy”. pastel coloured wooden boutiques with self-consciously italian names rise up fir street to my left. dark clouds mass ominously overhead. soon it will rain. the bay is flat and leaden to my right. i feel monochrome myself, hollow with anti-climax.
i arrived here on sunday to give a presentation at the o’reilly emerging technology conference. this meant a lot to me, really a lot. it’s the world’s most important forum for upcoming technologies and we were given a forty minute slot in the main hall. my session took place yesterday afternoon. it’s the first time i’ve talked about my project in the isles of scilly and explained how trampoline grew out of it. i’ve been preparing for weeks. last saturday i was more nervous than i can ever remember feeling.
well, the presentation couldn’t have gone better. all day today people have been coming up to me with questions and friendly comments, even people who didn’t hear the talk. yesterday evening i felt a wild euphoria but this afternoon as the final sessions wrapped up and delegates started drifting away my spirits grew flat and heavy.
by nature i think i’m a good communicator but i’m very shy. the prospect of standing up in front of people terrifies me, as did musical performances in earlier days. once i’m started it’s fine. the apprehension is always the bad part.
other than my stupid nerves the conference has been a wonderful experience. i’ve met so many thinkers and technologists whom i admire and trampoline has taken a step onto a much larger stage. there’s a lot of emotion tangled up in me. i feel like it wouldn’t take much to make me cry. i suppose this is the state one would call “over-wrought”.
i’ll be back in balance tomorrow.
: c :