[ 22:16 saturday 31 march – green gulch farm, muir beach, california ]

i’ve just returned from sitting in the formal garden with vajra in the glare of the almost-full moon. the sky is perfectly clear tonight. our conversation was accompanied by the undulating chorus of toads from the pond and the unexpectedly close-sounding waves on the beach a mile away. green gulch farm is a zen buddhist monastery, inhabiting a collection of japanese-inspired wooden buildings dotted amongst tall trees, with fields stretching down the valley to the sea. vajra’s been a friend since we met in london ten years ago. when i heard he’d joined green gulch’s thirty-strong community last month i was delighted to take the opportunity to come and visit.

last saturday i felt an urge to get away from san francisco so i rented a car with the intention of coming up here. it was my first experience of automatic transmission so i entertained passers-by with my initial lurching progress. once i got the hang of it i took the panoramic highway over mount tamalpais to stinson beach where i spent several hours clambering over rocks and photographing seaweed that looked like giant spring onions. then i drove back over the mountain and pulled up here with the intention of surprising vajra. i arrived at seven just as the wooden block was being sounded to mark the start of the evening’s zazen meditation. my enquiries revealed that vajra was participating and i’d have to wait a couple of hours before it was finished. the place exuded a wonderful sense of calm and simplicity so i was in no hurry.

i took a seat in the library and pulled out a book. a lady called shoho, who was marking out cloth to sew, asked if i’d eaten dinner and when i replied in the negative she led me down to the kitchen and assembled a plate of kale (grown on the farm), baked potatoes and a hard boiled egg. it was delicious. after i’d eaten she invited me to join in the last part of the zazen which sounded interesting.

she led me to a different building where i left my shoes in an ante-room. then i entered a galleried hall where several people were doing a slow walking meditation, moving silently clockwise around the room. i joined them until after a few minutes a bell sounded and the doors to the main zendo hall opened. this was a much larger chamber, lit by candles, with low platforms along either side and a large wooden statue of buddha inside the door. each person bowed to the statue as they entered. shoho gestured towards a platform. i stepped up to it and sat with my legs crossed facing the wall. thus i remained for the next forty minutes until another bell sounded and everyone stood up and faced into the room. i moved to do the same but quickly discovered i’d lost all sensation in my legs. in preference to falling over i swiftly sat down on the side of the platform and waited, somewhat self-consciously, for the blood to return. after a few minutes i managed to stand unsteadily. by this point everyone else was chanting so i joined in as best i could. then everyone processed out of the hall and i tracked down vajra.

on thursday evening i flew back from san diego to san francisco and returned to warren and ann’s house on russian hill, where they’d kindly let me stay the previous week. i had a fair amount of work to catch up with on friday but once that was done i packed up my things, rented a car and drove back to green gulch where i’d booked a guest room (i’m typing on the bed now). after supper vajra and i walked in the moonlight to a vantage point above the ocean with the lights of san francisco in the distance. this morning i rose at half past seven and after breakfast went for a long walk on the wild hillsides and coastal paths to the south of muir beach. this afternoon i spent some time photographic the gigantic mussels, sea anemones and starfish down at the beach; then vajra and i walked up the coast to the north. the weather has been fantastic. i spent most of the day shirtless. this evening after supper i did another session of zazen, then went out to sit in the moonlit garden with vajra.

this brief retreat has been an oasis of calm amidst the prevailing frenzy. tomorrow morning it all starts again. i’ll drive back to san francisco then catch a plane to boston for a couple of meetings. i’ll finally return to london on tuesday morning.

: c :

[ 18:05 thursday 29 march – gate 7, san diego airport ]

the o’reilly emerging technology conference has just ended. for the past four days i’ve been in the midst of six hundred technologists, designers and thinkers in the gothic preposterousness of san diego’s manchester grand hyatt. it’s been marvelously stimulating. the conference has a striking inter-disciplinary character which appears to be emergent rather than planned. the majority of the people i’ve spoken to drew fluently on ideas and examples from many different disciplines in their conversation. the programme itself reflects this tendency. in addition to sessions on new technologies i’ve attended talks on the role of the jacquard loom in the development of computing, the significance of body modification and the historical relationship between magic and technology. in keeping with this spirit the session i presented with mike on tuesday (“collective intelligence, indeterminacy and the illusion of control”) referred to automobiles, democratic systems and a pod of dolphins that’s started wearing sponges on their noses. the last of these was, i confess, a little gratuitous.

i remember how much pressure i felt last year, how important it seemed to make an impact with my presentation. i started preparing several months in advance and spent much of the conference obsessively tweaking my slides. consequently i hardly went to any other sessions and didn’t really have much fun. this year was completely different. i was wrapped up in the investment process until a week beforehand so i only put my presentation together at the last minute. obviously i hoped people would find it interesting but there wasn’t the same sense of pressure as last year. i went to a lot of the other sessions and spent the rest of the time meeting people and learning about new thinking in all kinds of fields. it was a hoot.

etech is like an intellectual caffeine blast. there’s part of me that hungers to sustain that same level of cerebral intensity all year round but maybe that wouldn’t be wise for one’s sanity.

: c :

[ 16:03 tuesday 20 march – marriott hotel, san mateo, california ]

i’m presenting two sessions at the dow jones webventures conference here in san mateo. the first is done, the second commences in twenty minutes. i’m sitting alone at a big round table in the main conference room now, catching up on my email. the room’s almost empty, just a handful of people whiling away time between sessions or desultorily chatting on their cell phones. easy listening music putters at an inoffensively low volume from hidden speakers, which is getting on my nerves. the carpet has a hideous diamond pattern in dark blue and lime green. the plastic rubber plants have seen better days. back in europe the technology community can’t stop fawning about silicon valley but it appears that silicon valley mostly boils down to places like this. it’s all rather depressing.

last week trampoline systems completed an investment deal bringing in three million pounds from a large american financier. this is what i’ve been working on since last november. it’s been one of the strangest and most intense experiences of my life. right until the last moment i couldn’t believe it was going to happen, i was just waiting for something to make the whole thing unravel. but week by week the pieces came together until finally there were no pieces left and the deal was done.

it’s six and a half years since i sat in my studio in johann hicks’ house on st agnes and had the idea of an electronic information system that mimicked human social behaviour. i remember the first time i sat around a table in victoria park square trying to explain it to james and craig, and shortly afterwards to warren. it took eighteen months from that point to raise £20,000 of grants and get to work on a prototype. by that time i was living on stromboli. it took another eighteen months to complete the prototype and raise £125,000 of seed investment, which is when i set up the company and moved back to london. three and a half years elapsed between that point and completing this £3,000,000 investment.

these are big spans of time, a significant chunk of my life. probably no entrepreneur ever realises how much time and effort will be required to get their business off the ground, at least for their first venture. when i made the decision, reluctantly, to come back from stromboli to london i told my friends i’d be staying for six months to a year. i sincerely believed that’s how long it would take to build the technology, get it into the market, raise a large investment round and hand over to someone else. in retrospect my naivety seems shocking. if i’d had a more realistic idea how long it would take i doubt i’d ever have left stromboli so perhaps that naivety was a blessing. i wouldn’t have missed this adventure for the world.

now that the fundraising is over and the money’s in the bank i emerge dazed and blinking into a subtly different world. i’m too tired to feel excited now. that will come later. i had to come straight over to california for this conference so i’ve scarcely had time to think. then next week i’m doing a presentation with mike at the o’reilly emerging technology conference in san diego which i haven’t even started work on yet. after that i’ll do a week in london and then, finally, i’m going away for two weeks’ holiday. no prospect ever seemed so idyllic.

: c :

[ 14:50 sunday 11 february – washington dc, united states of america ]

a sunny day but bitingly cold. i’m sitting on the bank of the frozen potomac river with my feet resting on the ice. behind me is the gleaming white marble of the jefferson memorial. it took the best part of an hour to work out how to get here by foot from the other side of the river. such is the urban design it feels tantamount to an act of sedition to attempt such a passage without a motor vehicle.

but it was worth the effort. there is still the background roar of the traffic and of aircraft descending to reagan airport. but around me is parkland, dotted with patches of snow, and before me the frozen expanse of the river. i’m well wrapped up with greatcoat and a sheepskin hat covering my ears. the sunlight is warm upon my cheek.

i’m typing on my new mobile, a veritable swiss army knife of electronic wizardry. but the sensation is almost gone from my fingers so i must stop typing and put on my gloves again.

: c :