p i n i n g

990326.2345 tamarisk farm

here i am again , lying in bed with my psion glowing up at me from the pillow . it seems a long time since i last wrote under these circumstances . my initial frenzy of writing has calmed down a bit , much as predicted . for the first month every step brought its rush of intense new experience . now i am becoming more deeply engaged with my environment and my work . there are still frequent moments of joy and absorption , but i no longer feel the same need to rush to my keyboard and detail each one .

i am conscious that my record has to date been exclusively positive , something i think worthy of comment . the basic truth is that i am loving what i am doing , but it is also true that i tend to look at my circumstances in a positive light . furthermore , when one takes such a leap as i have , departing from normal expectations , there is a pressure to prove oneself not to have done a foolish thing .

none of this would matter , but i have claimed this string of despatches as a part of my work . a record of what it was like for me to spend a year on an island . thus i should apply the same standards as i do to other elements of my documentation .

so i shall take this opportunity to record that i did feel a bit lonely earlier this evening . not for more than half an hour , and not with any great drama , but i had a wistful sense that i would like to be in a relaxed environment with some friends . the context of this is that i spent most of the period between four and eleven cataloguing and scanning slides . i took a short break to eat , but probably not more than twenty minutes . i am very content doing this work ( though the oft-crashing scanning software continues to irk me ) , but it would be even better if leavened with company .

there we are , i don’t wish to dwell on it . indeed it is worth mentioning that i sometimes experienced far more intense isolation in london , a city where one is ever conscious of things going on to which one is not party . and i would say i was a pretty social creature , latterly at least .  it’s been another sunny spring day here . i find it increasingly hard to make myself sit inside in front of a computer during daylight hours .

: cH

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