Category Archives: Wanderer

b r a s s

[ 19:57 friday 25 may – paddington station, london ]

monday is a public holiday so this afternoon i decided on impulse to spend the weekend with mum and dad. my train should have departed quarter of an hour ago but it hasn’t even arrived at the station yet. no matter, i’m content to sit here cross-legged on the great western information desk, listening to the station brass band playing next to me on the concourse.

i remember hearing the band many years ago but i assumed it had been swept away in one of the recent spasms of privatisation and modernisation. nowadays the security services would probably see this thirty-five piece ensemble of mostly elderly folks as a sinister threat to the nation’s transport. but no, against all odds here they are still pom-pom-pomming away.

the most delightful thing is the way the train staff wait for each song to finish before announcing the latest batch of delays. only once has the announcer cut into the middle of a song. the conductor chose a suitable hiatus at which the band sustained a chord and waited for the announcement to end before continuing the song.

: c :

z a r a g o z a

[ 07:22 friday 11 may – hotel oriente, zaragoza, spain ]

i woke up around four and have remained awake since then. i watched the darkness melt into the blue pre-dawn light and the first rays of sunlight pierce the little plaza beneath my window. sometimes when i can’t sleep i feel agitated but today i’m serene, my mind drifting unhurriedly from one thing to the next. in an hour i’ll meet rebecca in the lobby for breakfast.

zaragoza is a beautiful city. spectacular roman, moorish and mediaeval buildings are counterpointed by bold art nouveaux and contemporary structures. it’s large (i’m told the fifth in spain) with an air of ongoing prosperity but there is no pomp or heaviness about it. few people speak english and my lack of spanish is infuriating, but everyone is generous in trying to understand my mash of italian and guesswork. i’ve visited mallorca twice. once with ben and keiran when we stayed in katherine hamnett’s farmhouse in the mountains, then with henry, which was a turning point in my life. but amazingly this is my first time in mainland spain. it makes me want to come back and explore more.

there’s something about being in a mediterranean city that makes me feel immediately at home, some deep foundation to the life and energy that’s become a part of me. there’s also a small edge of sadness, since it reminds me how lacking in delight i find london and how much more alive i feel when i come south. but i’ve long made my peace with that knowledge.

i arrived late on tuesday night for the innovate europe conference. my presentation went well, i met some interesting people, mission accomplished. back to london this afternoon.

: c :

g r e n a d i n e s

[ 00:47 thursday 26 april – shipton street, london ]

arriving on bequia on easter day i was looking forward to recording a stream of despatches on my uber-phone. unfortunately said phone and i parted company a few days later in a rather rowdy bar called “penthouse” in a shack just up from the port. so, it is only now i come to write about my travels in the caribbean, four days after my return to london.

mum and dad have been sailing in the grenadines a couple of times and out of all the islands bequia made a particular impression on them. then three years ago a childhood friend of mine, meg, set up home on bequia with her partner and baby daughter after several years’ wandering on a yacht. put these factors together with my well-known fondness for islands and it was probably inevitable i’d arrive there sooner or later. in february anna suggested it would be a fine place to recover after completing the investment deal and it seemed like the perfect thing to do. i dropped meg a line, she said “we’re expecting you” and that was that.

bequia is a small place (six thousand people, seven square miles) but it’s still the largest of the thirty-two grenadine islands, most of which are so small they’ve been left uninhabited. getting to bequia from london is not straightforward. i flew into tobago, close to the venezualan coast, where i stayed overnight before connecting up to barbados, then on to st vincent. finally i got the ferry to bequia which runs four times a day and takes an hour. that’s where i wrote my previous despatch.

after everyone’s descriptions of bequia’s divine tranquility i was a bit taken aback to arrive in the middle of what appeared to be a frantic party. the streets were filled with music, stalls and dancing crowds. it turned out i’d arrived in the middle of the island’s principal festival of the year, the easter regatta, which involves four days of yacht races and four nights of partying. i danced like a madman and loved it but it wasn’t what i’d expected at all.

then after a couple of days i woke up and it may as well have been a different island. the regatta was over. the streets were empty. all i could hear was birdsong and the waves lapping on the shore. little by little i started exploring the island, setting off on foot to traverse different parts of the coast or snorkeling around the abundant reefs. the glorious underwater spectacles prompted me to do something i’ve been meaning to do for years; i learned to dive. living on the isles of scilly and stromboli i always had friends who were divers and they urged me to try it, but i never did.

from the first moment i loved it. more than anything it felt like flying over an alien planet populated with the most bizarre and spectacular life forms. my modest experience with the yoga practice of pranayama, in which one’s respiratory process slows down, seems to mean that i can conserve my air supply for longer than usual; which is a tremendous boon. i made three dives in different locations, each of which was a completely new experience. i saw delicate sea-horses, swaying in the current with their tails hooked to a coral anchor. lobsters, crouched irascibly in their hidey-holes with long antennae twitching at intruders. eels of a hundred different patterns and colours, poking their fanged heads out of burrows or slithering amongst rocks in search of prey. a forest of corals of every shape and size. fish of a million iridescent hues and behaviours.

i swam with turtles off the tobago cays, following them as they munched on algae at the sea bed then pushed to the surface for a gulp of air before descending one again. i pestered a sting-ray that meg found dozing in the sand and watched it grudgingly flap along a few metres before settling down again. i fell completely in love with puffer fish but each time i found one and tried to hug it it would wobble off with its adorable contrary flapping of lumbar fins. the high point of all my underwater experiences came at the end of my third dive, when three eagle rays swam past in formation. this was the most mesmerising thing to behold. each creature had a wingspan of a metre and a half, the three of them passing perhaps ten metres from me, undulating with silent elegance and grace. i understand it is rare to see such a thing and i should count myself lucky.

during the second week of my sojourn meg and i went off on a bit of an adventure. we set out at dawn on the friendship rose, meg and alan’s seventy foot schooner which they charter for trips to the tobago cays and mustique. at the cays we transfered to scaramouche, another local schooner, to reach union island (population 3,000) where we stayed a couple of days to explore. from here we took a speedboat over to mayrou (population 270) across a choppy sea which duly soaked us. after a night on mayrou we hitched a lift with a dive boat which took us back to the cays where we liaised with the friendship rose and thus returned to bequia.

there’s lots i’d like to write about. the quiet undercurrents of racial and colonial trauma. the balance between native and ex-pat populations. the strange and pervasive mythology of “lovely bequia”. patterns of entrepreneurship in the islands. competing attitudes to development. it’s all fascinating, to me at least. but life being as it is i probably won’t find time to write about any of it.

most importantly, for the first time in six months i don’t feel tired. it’s wonderful!

: c :

k i n g s t o w n

[ 18:42 sunday 7 april – port of kingstown, st vincent ]

easter sunday, a little after sunset. i’m sitting cross-legged at the taffrail of the day’s last ferry across to bequia. the ramp below me scrapes and squeals in the rolling swell. bob marley songs pump out from a pick-up parked on the quay below, which is surrounded by a knot of people dancing and talking. lights start to pepper the surrounding mountainsides as the post-sunset sky darkens. the air is sultry, tinged with an acrid edge of diesel.

it’s barely 36 hours since i left london but it feels like i’ve been traveling for weeks already. last night on tobago i stayed with a security guard everyone calls the doctor who lives on the sea behind the airport and keeps a few guest rooms with his sister ruth. he drove me up to scarborough, the island’s main port, where we got some supper and soaked up the atmosphere around the market.

a lot of people had come over from trinidad for the evening’s beach concert by buju banton. some of them had brought seriously tricked-up cars with custom paint jobs, flashing lights, lots of chrome and big sound systems; which were parked along a stretch of road for people to admire. when we got back to the doctor’s place i clambered down the dark rocks and sat by the beaking waves with the hot wind on my face until i was ready to sleep.

this afternoon i flew on to barbados in a fifty-seater twin prop aircraft that seems to be the staple inter-island transport here. after an hour in barbados’ earily gleaming airport and a couple of delightful conversations i boarded another flight to st vincent where i arrived an hour ago.

my first impression of the caribbean is of strong warm people who are confident in their cultures. it’s easy to speak to people. it’s particularly interesting to hear opinions of america and europe. there’s a much more balanced, critical view than i would expect.

as i write the ferry’s ramp is raised, the engine throb gets higher and we cast off. in an hour i’ll be on bequia.

: c :

t o b e q u i a

[ 12:18 saturday 7 april – gatwick airport south terminal ]

being marooned at gatwick is as close as i ever wish to come to a concentration camp. airports are grim places. british airports are especially joyless. but there’s something uniquely brutal and dehumanising about gatwick.

staff seem to be trained in a chilling gritted-teeth cheerfulness. efforts to sell over-priced crap to trapped passenger are raised to new levels of intrusiveness. the architecture is cramped and offers no hint of redemption.

but despite this, and a two hour delay to my flight, i have a light heart for i am on holiday for the next two weeks. later today i shall arrive on the island of tobago where i’ll find somewhere to stay the night. then tomorrow i’ll fly to barbados and on to st vincent’s, from where i hope to get a ferry to the tiny isle of bequia to visit my friends meg and alan.

the prospect is indecently glorious. even gatwick cannot damp my spirits.

: c :

z e n

[ 22:16 saturday 31 march – green gulch farm, muir beach, california ]

i’ve just returned from sitting in the formal garden with vajra in the glare of the almost-full moon. the sky is perfectly clear tonight. our conversation was accompanied by the undulating chorus of toads from the pond and the unexpectedly close-sounding waves on the beach a mile away. green gulch farm is a zen buddhist monastery, inhabiting a collection of japanese-inspired wooden buildings dotted amongst tall trees, with fields stretching down the valley to the sea. vajra’s been a friend since we met in london ten years ago. when i heard he’d joined green gulch’s thirty-strong community last month i was delighted to take the opportunity to come and visit.

last saturday i felt an urge to get away from san francisco so i rented a car with the intention of coming up here. it was my first experience of automatic transmission so i entertained passers-by with my initial lurching progress. once i got the hang of it i took the panoramic highway over mount tamalpais to stinson beach where i spent several hours clambering over rocks and photographing seaweed that looked like giant spring onions. then i drove back over the mountain and pulled up here with the intention of surprising vajra. i arrived at seven just as the wooden block was being sounded to mark the start of the evening’s zazen meditation. my enquiries revealed that vajra was participating and i’d have to wait a couple of hours before it was finished. the place exuded a wonderful sense of calm and simplicity so i was in no hurry.

i took a seat in the library and pulled out a book. a lady called shoho, who was marking out cloth to sew, asked if i’d eaten dinner and when i replied in the negative she led me down to the kitchen and assembled a plate of kale (grown on the farm), baked potatoes and a hard boiled egg. it was delicious. after i’d eaten she invited me to join in the last part of the zazen which sounded interesting.

she led me to a different building where i left my shoes in an ante-room. then i entered a galleried hall where several people were doing a slow walking meditation, moving silently clockwise around the room. i joined them until after a few minutes a bell sounded and the doors to the main zendo hall opened. this was a much larger chamber, lit by candles, with low platforms along either side and a large wooden statue of buddha inside the door. each person bowed to the statue as they entered. shoho gestured towards a platform. i stepped up to it and sat with my legs crossed facing the wall. thus i remained for the next forty minutes until another bell sounded and everyone stood up and faced into the room. i moved to do the same but quickly discovered i’d lost all sensation in my legs. in preference to falling over i swiftly sat down on the side of the platform and waited, somewhat self-consciously, for the blood to return. after a few minutes i managed to stand unsteadily. by this point everyone else was chanting so i joined in as best i could. then everyone processed out of the hall and i tracked down vajra.

on thursday evening i flew back from san diego to san francisco and returned to warren and ann’s house on russian hill, where they’d kindly let me stay the previous week. i had a fair amount of work to catch up with on friday but once that was done i packed up my things, rented a car and drove back to green gulch where i’d booked a guest room (i’m typing on the bed now). after supper vajra and i walked in the moonlight to a vantage point above the ocean with the lights of san francisco in the distance. this morning i rose at half past seven and after breakfast went for a long walk on the wild hillsides and coastal paths to the south of muir beach. this afternoon i spent some time photographic the gigantic mussels, sea anemones and starfish down at the beach; then vajra and i walked up the coast to the north. the weather has been fantastic. i spent most of the day shirtless. this evening after supper i did another session of zazen, then went out to sit in the moonlit garden with vajra.

this brief retreat has been an oasis of calm amidst the prevailing frenzy. tomorrow morning it all starts again. i’ll drive back to san francisco then catch a plane to boston for a couple of meetings. i’ll finally return to london on tuesday morning.

: c :

e t e c h 0 7

[ 18:05 thursday 29 march – gate 7, san diego airport ]

the o’reilly emerging technology conference has just ended. for the past four days i’ve been in the midst of six hundred technologists, designers and thinkers in the gothic preposterousness of san diego’s manchester grand hyatt. it’s been marvelously stimulating. the conference has a striking inter-disciplinary character which appears to be emergent rather than planned. the majority of the people i’ve spoken to drew fluently on ideas and examples from many different disciplines in their conversation. the programme itself reflects this tendency. in addition to sessions on new technologies i’ve attended talks on the role of the jacquard loom in the development of computing, the significance of body modification and the historical relationship between magic and technology. in keeping with this spirit the session i presented with mike on tuesday (“collective intelligence, indeterminacy and the illusion of control”) referred to automobiles, democratic systems and a pod of dolphins that’s started wearing sponges on their noses. the last of these was, i confess, a little gratuitous.

i remember how much pressure i felt last year, how important it seemed to make an impact with my presentation. i started preparing several months in advance and spent much of the conference obsessively tweaking my slides. consequently i hardly went to any other sessions and didn’t really have much fun. this year was completely different. i was wrapped up in the investment process until a week beforehand so i only put my presentation together at the last minute. obviously i hoped people would find it interesting but there wasn’t the same sense of pressure as last year. i went to a lot of the other sessions and spent the rest of the time meeting people and learning about new thinking in all kinds of fields. it was a hoot.

etech is like an intellectual caffeine blast. there’s part of me that hungers to sustain that same level of cerebral intensity all year round but maybe that wouldn’t be wise for one’s sanity.

: c :

t h r e e m i l l i o n

[ 16:03 tuesday 20 march – marriott hotel, san mateo, california ]

i’m presenting two sessions at the dow jones webventures conference here in san mateo. the first is done, the second commences in twenty minutes. i’m sitting alone at a big round table in the main conference room now, catching up on my email. the room’s almost empty, just a handful of people whiling away time between sessions or desultorily chatting on their cell phones. easy listening music putters at an inoffensively low volume from hidden speakers, which is getting on my nerves. the carpet has a hideous diamond pattern in dark blue and lime green. the plastic rubber plants have seen better days. back in europe the technology community can’t stop fawning about silicon valley but it appears that silicon valley mostly boils down to places like this. it’s all rather depressing.

last week trampoline systems completed an investment deal bringing in three million pounds from a large american financier. this is what i’ve been working on since last november. it’s been one of the strangest and most intense experiences of my life. right until the last moment i couldn’t believe it was going to happen, i was just waiting for something to make the whole thing unravel. but week by week the pieces came together until finally there were no pieces left and the deal was done.

it’s six and a half years since i sat in my studio in johann hicks’ house on st agnes and had the idea of an electronic information system that mimicked human social behaviour. i remember the first time i sat around a table in victoria park square trying to explain it to james and craig, and shortly afterwards to warren. it took eighteen months from that point to raise £20,000 of grants and get to work on a prototype. by that time i was living on stromboli. it took another eighteen months to complete the prototype and raise £125,000 of seed investment, which is when i set up the company and moved back to london. three and a half years elapsed between that point and completing this £3,000,000 investment.

these are big spans of time, a significant chunk of my life. probably no entrepreneur ever realises how much time and effort will be required to get their business off the ground, at least for their first venture. when i made the decision, reluctantly, to come back from stromboli to london i told my friends i’d be staying for six months to a year. i sincerely believed that’s how long it would take to build the technology, get it into the market, raise a large investment round and hand over to someone else. in retrospect my naivety seems shocking. if i’d had a more realistic idea how long it would take i doubt i’d ever have left stromboli so perhaps that naivety was a blessing. i wouldn’t have missed this adventure for the world.

now that the fundraising is over and the money’s in the bank i emerge dazed and blinking into a subtly different world. i’m too tired to feel excited now. that will come later. i had to come straight over to california for this conference so i’ve scarcely had time to think. then next week i’m doing a presentation with mike at the o’reilly emerging technology conference in san diego which i haven’t even started work on yet. after that i’ll do a week in london and then, finally, i’m going away for two weeks’ holiday. no prospect ever seemed so idyllic.

: c :

p o t o m a c

[ 14:50 sunday 11 february – washington dc, united states of america ]

a sunny day but bitingly cold. i’m sitting on the bank of the frozen potomac river with my feet resting on the ice. behind me is the gleaming white marble of the jefferson memorial. it took the best part of an hour to work out how to get here by foot from the other side of the river. such is the urban design it feels tantamount to an act of sedition to attempt such a passage without a motor vehicle.

but it was worth the effort. there is still the background roar of the traffic and of aircraft descending to reagan airport. but around me is parkland, dotted with patches of snow, and before me the frozen expanse of the river. i’m well wrapped up with greatcoat and a sheepskin hat covering my ears. the sunlight is warm upon my cheek.

i’m typing on my new mobile, a veritable swiss army knife of electronic wizardry. but the sensation is almost gone from my fingers so i must stop typing and put on my gloves again.

: c :

n a r c i s s i

[ 00:39 tuesday 16 january – shipton street, london ]

today i took my breakfast on the roof for the first time since october. the sky was clear and i could feel the warmth of the sun on my face. the first tips of new leaves are starting to appear on the hydrangeas.

on sunday there were a few boxes of isles of scilly narcissi at the flower market, the first time i’ve seen them there. i bought a few bunches for the house. their distinct sweet perfume evokes so many memories.

: c :